Dear Mr. Nguyen,
As much as I appreciate your efforts to beautify my front lawn with the plastic baggie filled with rocks and a flier touting your landscape expertise, I am going to have to decline your offer. I’m rather fond of the natural look of my yard — the haphazardly planted tulips and crocuses that should be popping up any day now, the bushes nibbled on by the neighborhood deer, the stubborn bare patches that are the only legacy of our late Labrador retriever.
Also, as regular readers of the blog can attest, I really have no need for your special “punning” services.
Good luck with the job hunt and stay the heck off my lawn!