Things I’ve learned while running around like a crazy person all week:
- Women are not necessarily the gentle sex. Police officers at the Citizens Police Academy confessed there is nothing worse than a fighting, drunk woman — a man will stop eventually, but a woman keeps fighting back. We even heard a recording of a very unladylike arrest.
- Weapons can be stashed in the oddest places. Samurai sword taken off a teenager aside (Samurai sword! Seriously!), we watched an officer take a bucket worth of “weapons” off a seemingly unarmed fellow officer.
- Also, germophobe? Adorable.
- Try not to introduce yourself to every principal in town during MCAS week.
- According to my 3rd grader, MCAS success can be ensured by the proper snack (chewy granola bars in the forbidden s’mores flavor) and the right fashion statement (a pink NASA shirt that says “Failure is not an option”).
- The long wait for the call for the Little League coach is well worth it when your son hoots and hollers for 10 minutes straight upon learning he’s made the Majors Division — and so has the coach under who he thrived last year.
- The boss who laid you off in October appreciates hearing you’re finally employed.
- There’s a mysterious vortex in town sucking up black and green lawn signs.
- You can order from Pepperoni Express online. Where was that option back when my commute took longer than 3 minutes?
- Also, the busiest day of the year at Pepperoni Express? It’s not Super Bowl Sunday. It’s Good Friday.
- The pecan squares at the Grafton Country Store are to die for. They brought over a “welcome to the neighborhood” offering of baked treats. It’s kind of like the neighborhood dealer offering a free hit of crack. You’re going to find me in a dark alley someday surrounded by nut crumbs and empty Peppermint Patty latte cups.
- The flashlight app on the iPhone really does come in handy when you can’t find your keys.
- When you’re freaking out about the Greater Grafton camera not working and you’re frantically checking every single setting — it helps if you check to make sure the lens cap is off first.
- Fairy houses are best made of objects found in nature.
- That guy in the long dark coat with the briefcase, working with a similarly clad gentleman driving up and down the street? NOT a Census worker. He’d like to talk to me about his friend Jesus Christ.